So you’ve been out there looking for mister or misses right. Perhaps you’ve exchanged a few flirty emails / text message or even talked on the phone a few times. But now you’re ready for the all-important first date. It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve spent getting to know each other up to this point. When it comes to your first face-to-face meeting, all bets are off. You really don’t know the person until you’ve meet in person.
At that point, the whole “getting to know you” process sort of starts all over again. You may seem to have great chemistry online or on the phone, but it might just fall flat once you actually meet. The person goes from being who you imagined/hoped they would be to who they really are. Keep in mind that this person likes you enough to go on a first date, so all you really need to do now is not screw it up. There are a lot of do’s and don’ts on the first date, but I’ve narrowed it down to the best of the best. These 7 simple first date tips will help you get a great handle on how to handle things.
7 Important First Date Don’ts
1) Don’t Be Late
Seriously, this is a big one. Maybe it’s just my personal pet peeve, but the first date is all about making a great fist impression. It’s safe to say, that the first date is you at your best. So if you show up 20 minutes late, the person is probably going to be wondering what it would be like after you’ve been dating for 6 months. Being on time goes for girls too. It could send the message that you’re flighty and disorganized. Or even worse, that you’re inconsiderate or even self-absorbed. If you’re running late, then at least text/call the person to let them know.
2) Don’t Try Too Hard
The basic dating philosophy I always try to emphasize is be your self; but be the best version of you that you can be. Sure, you’re excited to finally meet this person face-to-face, but try to keep things in check. If the person gets the impression that you’re trying too hard it could send the wrong message. It may make them think that you probably haven’t been on too many dates before or even worse, it could seem overly eager and desperate. Just keep you’re cool and be who you really are. They way if the person does like you, it’s the real you they are interested in.
3) Don’t Be Cheap
It’s always nice when the girl offers to split the check, but don’t fight with the guy over the bill… especially on the fist date. Think of it as a symbolic gesture that the guy shouldn’t accept at first. This may sound old fashion, but the guy should pretty much expect to pay for things at least on the first date. Usually, us guys get to plan the first date anyways, so just pick somewhere that you’re comfortable paying for. From the girl’s perspective, if the guy isn’t even willing to pay for the first date, then it’s probably going to be all down hill from there.
On a similar note, it’s generally a bad idea to go somewhere too fancy or over-the-top on your first date. It can come across as trying to buy the other persons affections. Plus, if you’ve already pulled out all the stops on the first date, then how do you ever top that for something like her birthday or your anniversary.
4) Don’t Talk Their Ear Off
Some people tend to talk a lot or even talk faster when they are nervous or excited. If this is you, just try to take notice and pace yourself a bit. Even if the person really likes you, it might make them think you’re a little too intense if they can’t squeeze a word in edge-wise. Also, try not to dominate the conversation or grill them with rapid-fire questions. You don’t want them to feel like they’re at a job interview or being interrogated by the Spanish Inquisition. And for the girls, try not to come off as if your assessing the guy with some type of checklist while you go through the standard “get to know you” questions. Try to keep things perspective. After all, the guy was cool enough to take you out; and he did pick up the check, right (see # 3)?
5) Don’t Check Out Other People in Front of Them
One time I was on a first date with a girl I’d met a few weeks earlier at a swanky charity event. My friends and I now jokingly refer to this as the “first date from hell”. Before the date she seemed cool, funny and sophisticated. That was before she started drinking like a fish and swearing like a sailor. Throughout the date she kept dropping bombshell after bombshell. She even flirted with another guy while we were out. Suffice to say it was the last time I talked to her.
6) Don’t Lie or Hide Thing
If you don’t like animals or hate sushi, then just say so. Don’t try to be who you think the other person wants you to be. Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, so don’t be ashamed of yours. You don’t want to necessarily spill your guts on the first date, but if you’re divorced with 5 kids just be honest about it. Maybe that’s what they’re looking for. For any relationship to workout, it needs to be based on honesty.
7) Don’t Have Any Expectations
Dating and meeting new people is supposed to be fun. It’s important to keep things in perspective. Even if you really connected on the phone or online, that doesn’t necessarily mean the magic will still be there once you meet in person. They (and or you) could go from stud to dud really fast. So by not having high (or any) expectations, you can be sure that you won’t be too disappointed. Just remember there are a lot of other people out there, even if this one doesn’t work out. And going on dates is really good practice for when you do meet someone you really like. Just think of it as a practice round for the real thing.
Find more great dating advice at FreshDate. The Free Dating Website.
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